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TIMOTHY'S CHRISTMAS ADVENTURE: IT'S A WONDERFUL GPA PART III

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“TIM!!!,” Jess and I wailed. Barry shook his head and Mike shrugged. We helped Tim up off the floor.

“It’s gone.....gone....” he moaned wearily.

“Tim, come on, your research isn’t gone. Isn’t it in your bag? What about your notes?”

Tim shook his head. “NO noooooo...” he moaned. “I can’t do that again...not again...all that work....”

Mrs. Claus put the tray of hot cocoa down on a table nearby. Dan raised an eyebrow at her.

“Mrs. Claus, hot liquids in the lab? A big no no...,” he scolded, waving a finger at her. She promptly picked the tray up and put it on top of the computer monitor.

“Here, Tim, sit down...” Jess told him, pulling out a chair.

“Just what’s the trouble here?” Santa puzzled.

“His disk....”

“OAHHHHH!” Tim moaned.

“His disk melted...” I explained in a low whisper.

“Well, we can get him a new one!” Santa suggested happily.

“No, Santa, he’s done a lot of research...he would have to rewrite the whole paper from his notes...”

Mrs. Claus waved a cup of hot cocoa in front of Tim but he refused it politely.

“This isn’t good...” Barry whispered to Jess and I. “Look at how he’s staring at the floor...”

“Mrs. Claus, could I use your telephone?”

“That’s good, Tim!” Jess said optimistically. “See if Zilch will give you an extension!”

“The phone’s over here, Tim,” Dan said, waving it around on it’s pepermint cord.

We all gathered around Tim as he dialed the number with hesitation. He frowned at us as he waited for someone to pick up on the other end.

“Yes, may I please speak to Dr. Zilch?” Tim sighed, waiting for him to get on the line.

“Maybe he’ll have a skiing accident!” Mike shouted.

“SHHHH!!!” Tim warned, glarring at him. He held the phone away from his mouth and whispered, “besides, he doesn’t ski, he ice fishes...”

“Maybe he’ll fall in!!!”

“SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

Tim stood up straight when he heard Zilch on the line. “Yes, Zilch...this is Timothy...,” he sighed, running his fingers through his red hair... “It seems the disk my paper is on has melted...yes sir...yes, melted, sir...well, sir, I wanted to tell you...yes...yes....no....”

Jess and I were standing on our toes waiting for something to happen. Barry was watching Dan as he went back to his game of Lara.

“You want a rootbeer?” Dan asked him.

“I’ll have one...” Mike said anxiously.

“No, Zilch, I was just hoping ye would give me an extension until Monday so I could rewrite the....yes...yes I realize...no, I’m sorry sir....no....well, yes I under....yes...thank......” and with that, Tim held the phone away from him, his face drained of all color once again.

“Did he give you till Monday?” Jess cheered.

Tim said nothing and stared at us blankly. “He says if I can find out what really happened to Amelia Earhart, then he’ll excuse me for taking my plane up and melting my disk...”

“Well, that’s easy, Tim! She got abducted by aliens!” Mike said, before chugging his rootbeer.

Tim got up suddenly and rushed out the door.

“TIM!! COME BACK!!!”

Jess and I watched him run down the steps and outside.

“I guess he doesn’t like cocoa,” Mrs. Claus said with a shrug.

“We gotta try to find him!”

“Okay, after we get Lara out of this swimming pool,” Barry said, watching the screen animately as Dan clicked the keyboard like mad.

“She’s an amazing swimmer, isn’t she?” Dan told Barry.

“Come on, Jess,” I said, grabbing her arm. “The elves have a library, don’t they, Santa?”

“Yes, I’ll take you there myself...”

“What, we’re going to try to rewrite Tim’s paper?”

“You bet...”

“But Jean...uhh...do you even know what it was on?”

“Something about the social impact of the pickle on modern society and how it affects people in the geographical....”

“Okay Jean....” Jess said, rolling her eyes. “Let’s go, Santa!” **********************************************************************************************

To our disappointment, Santa’s library was beautiful, yet it didn’t have one book dealing with political science. History, yes, but the history of chocolate, the history of the rocking horse...coo coo clocks... Jess sat at a large candy striped table in the center of the magnificient library, looking through Tim’s notebook.

“Jean....”

“Yeah? See if he’s got anything about his sources.. maybe on the internet or something...the whole paper should be there...”

“Jean....”

“And see if he’s got them cited..I hate the MLA handbook...”

“Jean, THIS ISN’T IN ENGLISH!”

“What?”

“I thought his handwriting was bad, but Jean, it’s in Irish, all of it...”

“Oh, bloody hell,” I moaned, looking over the marshmallowed pages. Barry walked in behind us, and saw the notebook.

“He’s been doing that since his junior year...”

“WHY???”

“Says he thinks clearer like that...and also, nobody’s going to steal his notes...here anyway...”

“Where’s Dan?” I asked, slumping into a cupcake stool.

“He went out to look for Tim with Mike. Santa said he was talking to a snowman on the front grounds, and Mrs. Claus began to worry. “

I zipped my coat up, and Jess and I followed Barry out of the library and outside.

“Timothy!!!” we called as loud as we could. We searched everywhere. Finally, we came up a snow-covered hill and could see two pairs of footprints. Jess spotted Mike’s nose glowing behind a bush. Dan and him were crouched down in the snow, watching Tim, I guessed.

“Look! He’s on the bridge!!!” Jess gasped. There was a beautiful arching bridge over a cold stream. Glittering icicles several feet long hung from the sides. Tim stood at the edge, staring at the water, watching it flow.

“Oh my gosh, he’s not actually thinking of jumping off...”

“WE HAVE TO SAVE HIM!!!” Jess wailed. She jumped out and ran towards Tim, startling him. Barry and I followed.

“TIM, DON’T DO IT!!! IT’S NOT WORTH IT!!!!”

“What are ye girls talking about?!” Tim shouted.

“DON’T DO IT, TIM! IT’S JUST A PAPER!!!”

“Girls!,” Tim said still confused, “ye thought I was going to jump?”

Just then, Dan and Mike came out of the bushes, directing the elf fire birgade. We covered our ears as the siren sounded, rattling our brains.

“Be careful, Girls,” Tim told us. “The edge is slippery and there’s no rail...”

“TIM WATCH OUT!!!!” I screamed, as an out of control fire tank skidded onto the bridge, sending Tim into the cold water.

“TIMOTHY!!!”

Dan promptly jumped in after him. Barry and Mike stood by us, watching Dan drag Tim out of the freezing water in horror.

“I hope he has a good lawyer...,” Mike groaned.

“Tim doesn’t have a laywer!”

“No, SANTA...this will cost him a fortune if Tim sues...” ************************************************************************************

An hour later, Tim was shivering under a blanket in front of Santa’s huge fireplace. Mrs. Claus brought him yet another hot cocoa. Dan sat at the table awaiting the elves’ feast. He had a blanket around him too, but was still slurping rootbeer. Tim got up and staggered to the table beside Jess and I. Mike sat across the table with Barry and Dan. We could hear a string orchestra crackling through Santa’s cheesy sound system.

“He spares no detail,” Barry said, examining his christmas tree silverware. Santa sat at the end of the huge table, tucking a festive red napkin into his shirt.

“Timothy, the elves have fixed your plane up, right as rain..”

“Thank ye, Santa,” Tim said graciously, watching Mrs. Claus bring in the first course. It was under a magnificient silver dish. She set in the middle of the table and smiled at us. A moment later another bell went off and legions of elves filed through the large wooden doors, and sat at the long table with us. More streaming covered trays were brought from the kitchen and placed on the table.

“I’m ready to EAT!” Barry moaned. Tim was looking over the plates with wide eyes.

“Yes, I’m starving!”

Dave sat down next to Barry.

“Trust me..you won’t want to eat any of this...” he told us, wrinkling his nose up. As he spoke, Mrs Claus uncovered the main dish. It was some unrecognizable brown fluffy substance, in a mound atop the silver platter.

“It’s..it’s....” Barry studdered.

“It’s dining hall food!!!” Mike gasped.

“Don’t you see why I don’t want to work here!?” Dave shouted.

The platter was placed around and the elves took heaping spoonfuls of the mush onto their plates. Not wanting to be rude, we all took a lump of the brown mush onto our plates. Tim sat for a few minutes staring at it.

“I think it moved...” Barry whispered.

Dan wolfed the nasty stuff down in heaping spoonfulls. “This is wonderful!!!”

A few moments later a fruit basket was passed around and Tim took an orange from the top.

“Tim, we tried to help you write your paper over...we couldn’t read your notebook...” Jess said, watching her brown mush.

Tim laughed, fussing with his orange. “I can’t even read me own handwriting, I wouldn’t expect ye girls would...”

“Well,” Jess said, taking the paper we hastily produced from under the table. “We came up with this. I hope you can use some of it..”

Tim was shocked, and took the paper from Jess, glaring at us with surprise.

“Ye girls wrote me a paper???”

“Yeah, it’s got some stuff about pickles in it...”

“Pickles?,” he said, puzzling. He opened the cover and began reading the first page.

“Jess did most of it, but I helped....” I said, leaning over the table, watching for his reaction. He put it down on the table finally and stared us with a blank expression.

“Well? What do you think?”

Barry had started to eat some of his mush, and poked at it with the fork. Mike took a forkful and held it up to the light.

“I think I can detect some sort of radioactive aura....”

“Well, Tim?” Jess asked impatiently. “Will it help any?”

“This is the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me...” he said finally, his voice cracking.

“Oh, Tim, it’s okay...we got most of it from Vogue magazine...”

“So, I see...” he said, flipping to the section suggesting the cosmetic use for cucumbers. “I especially like the connection ye girls came up with here, about cucumber anarchy in a society that more willingly accepts pickles...”

“See?”

Barry burst out laughing, and Dan quickly stole the remaining brown mush from his plate.

“I hope ye girls wouldn’t think I’d ever be so desperate about something, that I’d think of jumping off a bridge...”

Mike began fighting with Dan for his brown mush. The elves poured Santa another beer.

“We were so scared, Tim, when you left...”

“I just wanted some time for meself, girls. I can write the paper over..I’ve most of it committed to memory...”

“You can’t use any of our work?”

Tim laughed. “Oh, girls, thank ye so much for working so hard, but it’s not my work, I wouldn’t even think of handing it in...”

“We were just trying to help,” Jess explained, poking her mush with a spoon.

Tim continued struggling with his orange. “I know, and I am forever indebted to the both of ye.... I just want ye to know I’d never go off and do something like that. School grades are grades and not self worth...nothing is so important as to go jumping off a bridge!”

“I know, Tim, we were just so worried about you..”

“I know I’ve struggled with it in the past, but I assure you I’m getting a lot more independent...” Jess and I smiled at him, and he nodded at us. “Can you start my orange?” *******************************************************************************************

BRRRRRRR......stay out of the water and take a microscope to that nasty dining hall food... Final Chapter 4 coming out tomorrow night! :) Stay tuned !

NO part of THE TIMOTHY STORY or cartoon art may be used without permission. Copyright Zucchtoons 1998.

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